The poor girl he was living his double life with took him back.

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However, after our four years together and growing in to my 20s with no hint of marriage on the horizon, I must admit the first emotion I felt was rejection.

Not because I wanted to marry the guy, but because the realization kicked in that he didn't want to marry . “But he's my boyfriend,” she sobbed on the phone to me when we discussed the revelation of him leading a double life.

You get into a relationship with the vision that it won't end. They were only seeing each other for about four or five months before she and I found out the other existed.

He had been on holiday with her, met her parents, lived with her during the week and came back to me on weekends. You’re probably reading this thinking, “Surely you would know? I felt stupid when it came to light, and of course I would have hoped I could identify when my boyfriend of four years was lying to my face. There was one time I spoke to him and complained it had been two months since I’d seen him. She was excited about a new relationship and he had met her friends and family. She of course wouldn’t put up with a man doing that to her, so she told me she was through with him.

He pulled the “work” card; he would tell me his job is very busy and he would be away a lot, and if I wanted to be with him, I would have to put up with his job coming first. Because that’s what you do; you trust someone until he or she breaks it. We spoke for hours on end, comparing diaries and matching up the lies. When he didn’t come home for two months on weekends like he usually would, it was because he was actually away for half of it, then chose to spend the other half on holiday with her. She even said she would understand if I wanted to give things another go with him because we were together first. Her and I kept in contact and became a sort of support for each other over the next few months.

She wanted to meet up and go out, but it didn’t materialize and our contact fizzled out.

So imagine my shock when, during the selling process (we decided to sell our house), a photo on his Whats App presented a photo of them together with a rock on her ring finger.

What happens when you find out the ex who cheated on you is now marrying the girl he cheated on you with?

Not only that, but he also cheated on her with you. After a two year relationship, we decided we were serious enough about each other to invest in property together, so we bought one and lived happily in it for two years — or so I thought. Of course I knew what his job entailed, and to many, he was a hero fighting for our country.